My mother is deeply miserable individual, she had an awfully hard life, In our family, someone is always terminally ill, requiring care for a period ranging from several months to several years. Then, a few months at most pass before another family member falls ill, and it has been this way since around the time I was born. Although my mother herself has many health problems, even though she is very young, she is usually responsible for caring for these sick family members. Now that we are older, I try to be helpful, but it is hard to bear how hateful and resentful my mother is. She admits outright that she enjoys causing pain to others. I try to be understanding, but it is very difficult for me to watch her behave this way because I know that deep down she is simply unhappy and has a good heart, but it hurts me when she says that it is her children or her husband who are the cause of her unhappiness. She has alcohol problems and some other addictions, but no interest in anything she cannot one thing she likes like a type of food or whether even. She is also a very controlling mother. Although I am of legal age, I have little say in where and with whom I meet, what I wear, what I eat, etc. I'm afraid that when I move out, she will hurt herself. She has threatened to do so many times in inappropriate situations, such as when I left the house wearing a different jacket than she wanted me to, or when I cooked vegan food for myself instead of eating what she had prepared. I feel helpless and don't know what to do. I don't have money for a psychologist, and if I did, I would rather save it to move out and take my younger siblings with me when I finish my education. But I also feel very sorry for her and would like to be able to help, but she doesn't want to accept any kind of help I can offer her, e.g. I do most of the housework, but she always thinks I'm doing it wrong, even though I do it exactly as she taught me. It's hard to talk to her because she refuses to answer questions about how she feels or what I could do to improve her mood. She takes everything as an attack and says she is the worst mother in the world and threatens to hurt herself. Can anyone help me and tell me how to behave in this situation? She is otherwise very loving, and I feel bad that my fear of her overshadows her good qualities. It's just that I perceive the love she shows as suffocating, as if she were showing control rather than affection, but sometimes she has days when she behaves normally, which is why I can't completely cut myself off from her, because I know that beneath these grammatical events there is still simply a woman who needs help.